Living in a small town of about 2,000 people, we don’t have to contend with traffic all that much. Sure, when summer’s holidaymakers descend on our little peninsula, we’ve a few more cars than normal, but it’s nothing like the snarl of machinery and humanity I witnessed while in Seattle recently. It had been eight years since I’d last visited the Emerald City and nearly 12 since we moved away. Not only were some of the old familiar businesses I remembered gone, but also whole buildings (and blocks) had been razed and replaced with multistory, multiuse complexes that had me struggling to navigate by old landmarks. It wasn’t only buildings under construction, either. It seemed that most major arterials were under some form of construction to accommodate the commuting needs of residents of all of these new mixed-used dwellings. Overlay more vehicles with road construction, and trips that once took me 20 minutes could take over an hour and a half — much of that time either creeping at a slower than (MS) walking pace or stopped altogether. Stuck in Traffic and Stressed It was annoying at first, owing to the fact that I hadn’t initially budgeted for the extra transit time. But then I began to settle into the new normal for Pacific Northwest commuters, much as I’ve settled into my new normal with multiple sclerosis (MS) . On one particular transit of SR 520, I was stopped dead on a bridge over Portage Bay. I had planned a bit of extra time for slow traffic before a speaking engagement, but being stopped is a different stressor than going slowly. To relieve a bit of the building tension, I turned on my old favorite jazz radio station and found myself smiling. As I gazed over the bridge and up at the stunning hillside houses that looked back on the bay, my eyes followed the hill down to the water, where a good few houseboats were moored. They resembled barges with homes built on them more than boats; you may remember this setting from the film Sleepless in Seattle. As if on cue, a rendition of the main theme from An Affair to Remember , which plays a significant role in the iconic Seattle movie, came on the radio. Slowed by Disease and Coping Stopped in traffic days after the news that I’ve a dozen new MS lesions, some of those black holes we hear about, and that my brain volume is a bit lower than my same-age cohort, I realized that sometimes we’re left with little to do but enjoy the view and reminisce. Just as I wrote about laying down food memories due to MS in an edition of Scoop , a magazine of Irish food stories, last year, I have worked to lay down a bed of experiences that I can draw upon to relive and revel in when MS’s traffic jams along my neuro highway have my life stalled. We will all have days that are slowed by the symptoms of our shared disease. We all have coping mechanisms that work — at varying degrees, at varying times — for us. And while we will placate ourselves with the view around us and the memories we may have, we’re still stuck in the traffic jam of multiple sclerosis when we’d like to be just about anywhere else. Wishing you and your family the best of health. Cheers, Trevis My new book, Living Well With Multiple Sclerosis , is now available. Follow me on the Life With MS Facebook page , and read more on Life With Multiple Sclerosis .

Are you and your partner neglecting sex play? Learn how to add it back into your routine to boost your bond in and out of the bedroom. While “quickies” can be fun and spontaneous, skipping foreplay means missing out on a great way to connect emotionally and physically. According to Pepper Schwartz, PhD, a sexual health expert and researcher at the University of Minnesota in Minneapolis, foreplay is critical, elemental, and necessary.

Foreplay, also known as “outercourse,” is any sexual activity that occurs before intercourse. There is no single way to engage in foreplay, as it can mean different things to different people. It can involve kissing, caressing, cuddling, flirty texting or talking, massage, and oral sex. If you like it a little rough, biting, pinching, scratching, and spanking can be a turn-on. The goal is to increase sexual excitement, which can help prepare the body for intercourse. Foreplay is sometimes thought of as a warm-up for sex, but it doesn’t necessarily have to lead to intercourse. Some couples find foreplay itself to be sexually fulfilling as a main event.

The benefits of foreplay include lubrication of the vagina, an extended erection, and the prevention of premature ejaculation for people with penises. The female body pulls the uterus up when aroused, lengthening the vagina. This process, called uterine tenting, creates a pool area for semen, which is part of the reproductive sophistication of our machinery, according to Dr. Schwartz. As those muscles relax, the nerve endings start to get stimulated, paving the way for a more pleasurable experience. Research involving married couples has found that 1 to 10 minutes of foreplay was associated with 40% of women achieving orgasm during sex. That percentage rose to 50 with 12 to 20 minutes of foreplay and 60 with more than 20 minutes of foreplay.

If you want more action in bed, you have to let your partner know what you want. But talking about sex can be easier said than done for some. Dr. Lyndsey Harper, a clinical assistant professor of obstetrics and gynecology at Texas A&M School of Medicine in Bryan, Texas, recommends two sentence starters to try when expressing sexual desire to your partner: “I want you to…” and “It feels so good when you…”. If it makes you more comfortable, you can bring up your sexual needs outside of the bedroom. If you don’t know how to bring it up, she suggests starting the conversation with something like, “Our sex life is really important, and I’d love for us to feel open talking about things. Would it be okay for me to share with you some things I like?”

Communication comfort is closely linked to trust. To experience true intimacy and fun foreplay, trusting each other is essential, especially since our needs constantly change. Couples who find it difficult to communicate about their desires should consider seeing a couple’s counselor or sex therapist who can help them navigate these discussions.

Foreplay is just play. Couples can engage in it however they want. According to Dr. Harper, it generally takes about 20 minutes of arousal for women to become fully lubricated and ready for penetrative sex. However, it is best to abolish the idea of “foreplay” and the “main event” of penetrative sex and work together with your partner to create a fun and intimate sexual life where everyone’s needs are met.

https://www.everydayhealth.com/sexual-health/sexual-foreplay.aspx

The post Stuck in Traffic, and Stuck With Multiple Sclerosis appeared first on Secretly Sexy.

Foreplay is just play. Couples can engage in it however they want. According to Dr. Harper, it generally takes about 20 minutes of arousal for women to become fully lubricated and ready for penetrative sex. However, it is best to abolish the idea of “foreplay” and the “main event” of penetrative sex and work together with your partner to create a fun and intimate sexual life where everyone’s needs are met.

https://www.everydayhealth.com/sexual-health/sexual-foreplay.aspx

The post Stuck in Traffic, and Stuck With Multiple Sclerosis appeared first on Secretly Sexy.

Are you and your partner neglecting sex play? Learn how to add it back into your routine to boost your bond in and out of the bedroom. While "quickies" can be fun and spontaneous, skipping foreplay means missing out on a great way to connect emotionally and physically. According to Pepper Schwartz, PhD, a sexual health expert and researcher at the University of Minnesota in Minneapolis, foreplay is critical, elemental, and necessary. Foreplay, also known as "outercourse," is any sexual activity that occurs before intercourse. There is no single way to engage in foreplay, as it can mean different things to different people. It can involve kissing, caressing, cuddling, flirty texting or talking, massage, and oral sex. If you like it a little rough, biting, pinching, scratching, and spanking can be a turn-on. The goal is to increase sexual excitement, which can help prepare the body for intercourse. Foreplay is sometimes thought of as a warm-up for sex, but it doesn't necessarily have to lead to intercourse. Some couples find foreplay itself to be sexually fulfilling as a main event. The benefits of foreplay include lubrication of the vagina, an extended erection, and the prevention of premature ejaculation for people with penises. The female body pulls the uterus up when aroused, lengthening the vagina. This process, called uterine tenting, creates a pool area for semen, which is part of the reproductive sophistication of our machinery, according to Dr. Schwartz. As those muscles relax, the nerve endings start to get stimulated, paving the way for a more pleasurable experience. Research involving married couples has found that 1 to 10 minutes of foreplay was associated with 40% of women achieving orgasm during sex. That percentage rose to 50 with 12 to 20 minutes of foreplay and 60 with more than 20 minutes of foreplay. If you want more action in bed, you have to let your partner know what you want. But talking about sex can be easier said than done for some. Dr. Lyndsey Harper, a clinical assistant professor of obstetrics and gynecology at Texas A&M School of Medicine in Bryan, Texas, recommends two sentence starters to try when expressing sexual desire to your partner: "I want you to..." and "It feels so good when you...". If it makes you more comfortable, you can bring up your sexual needs outside of the bedroom. If you don't know how to bring it up, she suggests starting the conversation with something like, "Our sex life is really important, and I'd love for us to feel open talking about things. Would it be okay for me to share with you some things I like?" Communication comfort is closely linked to trust. To experience true intimacy and fun foreplay, trusting each other is essential, especially since our needs constantly change. Couples who find it difficult to communicate about their desires should consider seeing a couple's counselor or sex therapist who can help them navigate these discussions.

Foreplay is just play. Couples can engage in it however they want. According to Dr. Harper, it generally takes about 20 minutes of arousal for women to become fully lubricated and ready for penetrative sex. However, it is best to abolish the idea of "foreplay" and the "main event" of penetrative sex and work together with your partner to create a fun and intimate sexual life where everyone's needs are met.

https://www.everydayhealth.com/sexual-health/sexual-foreplay.aspx

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